grrrrrrrrrrrr.....

sometimes, a certain family member sucks.
sometimes, that's the reason you hang out with your friends more often.
sometimes, you just wish you can make that person disappear.
sometimes, you wish hate is not a strong word since you've been repeating it over and over again.

sometimes, you wish you are the only child.....
but then again why should you?
not being the only child had taught you the lesson of sharing.
not being the only child had taught you to be thankful.
not being the only child had taught you the lesson of patience. (ada was was sket kat sini)

but hey, you do feel like you are the only child since mother would do just about anything for you.

to the sour grape, UWEK :P
mother loves me most!!!!!! and I am glad that she's not afraid to show the world!!!!!!
hahahahahahahahahaha

take this

and this

and this too

this also

eh... eh... don't forget this one....

pssssstttttt.........
guess what she got me on her reason trip?


can't tell you... hihihihihi.....
nanti the grape lagi sour.... susah!

flutter!!!!!

" Hello, hello... I know I'll be the only one in First Class today!!!!!" exclaimed the friendly Mr Vandervi-something something in his dutch accent.

I chuckled.

"You are right Mr Vannn......." I said trying to get his name right.

"Call me Tim, Fai-E-z....." Mr Vandervi-something something cut me but he too was having trouble pronouncing my name.

"It's Faizah but call me Aiz, if you want to" I said casually.

"Nooooooooooooooooo........(frowning), you are hot! So how could I call you ICE?" he said.

flutter!

"Oh no Tim, it's Aiz as in EYES? How would you like that?" I said.

flutter! flutter!

"Ahhhhhhh.... EYES.... as in beautiful eyes....." he said.

FLUTTER! FLUTTER! FLUTTER! teeth showing!!!!!!!!

2 hours into the flight, Tim came while I was in the galley and asked me to assist him with his telly. We returned to his seat and got the movie he wanted.

"Ahhhh.... thank you Eyes......" he said.

flutter!

"Your most welcome Tim and by the way, the next time you need something, just press the button ok, you don't have to come all the way there to get me...." I said extending my hospitality....

flutter! flutter!

Tim didn't smile. He was frowning almost looking angry. Then he said "if my father were to see me do what you have just suggested, he would kill me"

flutter??

I was shocked and immediately apologised. Then I told him it's ok for him to get us any way he wanted to. He smiled and continued to watch his movie.

flutter!

When we arrived, Tim kissed my hand and thank me for the wonderful flight.

flutter! flutter!! flutter!!! flutter!!!! flutter!!!!!

Tim is 61 year old music industry business man. He slept throughout the flight after the movie.

I wish there are more people like him.

flutter!!

INGAT!

"You failed your maths? No wonder you're a stewardess......."

I was taken aback. Not because I actually didn't fail my maths but for the first time in my 18 years career someone relate my job to being non academical straight to my face.

Was is alright for me to be angry?
YES, because they truly don't know what one go through underneath the tight kebaya and the birthday cake make up.

Was it necessary for me to justify?
NO, I shouldn't have. It is after all between GOD and I and the people that I had served.

What happens the next time should something similiar occurs?
I would just shut up and smile as I should have (the first time it happened). One supposed to be that cool.

What if I get really angry?
I would still shut up and smile and walk away.

You shouldn't be around people who drain you out.

I should should should should should should REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!

nganyah!

I am supposed to wake up in five hours. What wake up? I haven't slept and I so have to. But going back to my room makes me feel lonely. Ntahapaapantah. Tomorrow, it'll be my 18th year with the same company.... What have I gained besides my unmanagable weight????


stress lagi.....
dun even wanna think about it.

I can't wait to be home...
I have to be ready in 5 hours... i better get some sleep, put on the falsies and flutter them thru the journey home.....

NAK BALIK!!!!!!!!!!

zzzzz....

Abang: "Bye Uncle Din. Abang nak balik dulu..."

Uncle Din yang dah lama tidur despite the noise we were making pun AKHIRNYA terjaga.

kualalumpur/kk/kualalumpur

The routine:

-set alarm.
-wear yesterday's attire.
-ensure 'green bag', purse, room key taken before leaving.
-walk, slowly- but since I've studied the traffic lights at the very massive junction, my trip took a shorter time.
-make the purchase.
-buy coffee and hope for a free sample.
-walk back.
-pack.
-shower.
-return HOME.

yumyumyumyum

almost solved puzzle, packing these items are always challenging!

well, they maintained "unsolved" in the end

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The lady arrived in a typical 'I got no time to dress up' housewife attire. her voice was soft with a northern accent. In my position, flat on my tummy, I managed to catch a glimpse of her. A sweet smiling lady. Through her conversation with my makcik urut, I found out that she just had a miscarriage and and just finished her confinement.

'Lama lagi ka?' she asked Mak Long, my makcik urut.
'Haa, lama laa lagi' Mak Long answered.
'Bukan urut setengah jam ja ka?' she asked.

Mak Long and I exchanged quick look with a frown.

'Setengah jam urut, nak rasa apa?' Mak Long chuckled.

I smiled through the piercing pain, very pleased with Mak Long's answer.

'Ni baru lepas beranak ka?' she asked Mak Long referring to me as if I was non existence.
'Dak eh, ni nak kasi beranak la ni' Mak Long answered.
'Muda lagi kotttt....' she said, or asked rather.

'Tak' I answered, trying hard to be positive.
'Oh... brapa umuq?' she asked.
'Tiga puluh enam dah..' I answered, already very annoyed.
'Kahwin lambat kot?' she continued, nosily.
'Emmmmmmmm' I answered, hoping to sound rude.

She then blabbered on about her two elder sisters who are not married at the age of 35 and 38. I smiled, reserved my comments. She continued and I wasn't paying attention.

Then as if a humongous monster appeared out of no where she said...
'Nasib baik suami tak bukak cawangan lain ye.....' .

The pain I had to endure with Mak Long's magical fingers were nothing compared to this
statement made by this... this... this.... errrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh... I just have no words to describe this rude and insensitive creature.

At that particular time, all I wanted to do was to point a gun at her temple and........

BANG! BANG! BANG!

she left after my silent treatment

24, Faubourg

Can you define a person by knowing the perfume they are wearing.

If so, try define me....

BELIEVE & MIDNIGHT FANTASY by BRITNEY SPEARS
(gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme mo.....)

let's... bersuka ria..

A typical scene at Faiz's office.

All busy doing their "aku banyak kerja lah... tak boleh bersuka ria"

Komar, siap dgn calculator besaq.... have not return to Naz yet... perompak!!!!

Faiz's staff, Erin pun sibuk gak....

Faiz, boss besaq pun busy.....
Semua tak nak layan aku.... Kesian aku.....

But, I'm busy too y'know.... Have to think hard on seven letter words to score...
yeah, rite.... yawn..... cepat lah abih keje, you all......

aiz is smirking

nak CINCAU?

well, it croaked myself to sleep last nite.....

i hope i scooped it ALL out!!!

tadpoles are smirking...

If the frog croaked last night, today would be the best day to scoop out its eggs. We didn't but Din did scoop out the tadpoles and left them to live in the galvanized ice container.

Today it rained heavily....

Tomorrow (or whenever) we have an added task. The tadpoles are free again....

Quote for today "never put off till tomorrow what you can do today"

or

"never put off till tomorrow what you can re do today......"

ce try

What are the odds of going shopping with the right colour scheme?

Try beating this.....

quote for the day

When someone offers you a mint(breath freshener), it's quite rude to refuse. The least you could do is ask the person "kenapa you? mulut i busukkkk ke?"


'never refuse an offer of mints (breath freshener)
as it could be a hint of something unpleasant'-Anuar Zain

quote for today- just in case you are oblivious to the hidden message!
have a nice day....

as told by enna

Cally " sekarang ah, manyak olang celai oh!"

Enna "ye lah Cally, 2006 and 2007 was like a competition. You would hear a divorce story one after another..."

Cally "you tau ka kenapa ini jam manyak kes celai? sebab ah, dia orang ah, belum kahwin sudah tidod sama. sekalang ah susah mau jumpa virgin bride. sama lah itu lelaki pun manyak sudah tak virgin lagi. Lu tengok ah, zaman mak pak kita mana ada manyak kes celai macam ni? adalah... tapi dalam 1500 perkahwinan ah, ada 2 kes aja. mak pak kita kahwin baru tidod sama oh"

paused.

Cally " tuhan pun marah oh. tuhan cina ka tuhan melayu ka... Dia marah oh, itu pasal asyik dengar itu kes saja..... haiya, wa pun tak tau apa nak jadi ah"

Cally left to continue her duties. Enna who was sitting, opened up the window shade, looked at the bright skies and had a long quiet laugh.

It is unfortunately the stories heard throughout those 2 years. Even in 2008, I received a phone call by a dear friend who heard a similar rumor about me. I told her that I am not in the competition yet. The funny thing is, I was stopped by another friend about the same thing. The other friend actually asked me if I am remarried.... huh? Then again, it's their mouth. They can say whatever they want. I have stopped getting furious. It's a waste of energy which is not much in my case.

To Cally, maybe your theory is right. I know to a certain extend you are right. Maybe you are lucky. Try living with the exes of our friends and acquaintances that made the list. Then maybe, you would have more theories that all of us can nod simultaneously, agreeing to what you have to say.

To Enna, I know the skies were laughing with you.

To Friends who went through the hardship, I have nothing else but respect for all of you. Most of you and you know who you are, still rock the world! (as witnessed by me) Cheers....

Effective

Look mom! No more wrinkles n dark circles...

Really dark circles

Its expensive n its sppsd 2 wrk. Its been almst 2 weeks n my au natural sunglasses r not shading any lighter and my wrinkles r still visible. Hwevr i hv an effective way 2 get rid of the wrinkles n reduce my dark circles instantly Only, i wil look awful n can't do a lot of stuffs...

Linkin Park-Shadow of the Day /my official video

been listening to this song for many days now. i wondered why i like it so much. the melody is superb and waking up to this song would probably promise a happy day if you ignore the lyrics...

embarrassed, after 2 days of taking the effort to look up for this song, it then all fall into the right places....

how could i not know? how come?
komar, did we miss this one out?

old n wise

My knees are still in pain. Going to the masseuse is a good option but I just can't find the time. There are loads to do. Besides 'tired' has become my middle name. Resting my legs, elevate them while sleeping has done a lil bit of justice. Still, I have to get my knees fixed. After all, I need them for the coming performance.

The truth, I did see a masseuse last month. I only had one meeting with her when I should have at least three meetings in a row. Well, as I said... I've no time or probably that is merely an excuse because..... during the session I had with her she did say 'selalunya, orang-orang tua je yang sakit lutut......'

So, how could I see her again?

She might realise that I am the orang tua already..........

sunshine or rain

When Docci told me she was back, I was excited. Her last visit was very brief. Her happiness was just a stone's throw. This could change her life.
Then I found out that she walked out of the relationship. She was devastated. As always, I was there.... all ears. But when I found out that her actual 7 day visit was to get engaged, I was taken aback. I am 'not important enough' friend for her to share the supposedly happy news with me. I sent her off to the airport and we joked about the whole thing that had transpired the whole week. I saw her smile and I know she was gonna be okey. I? I was still hurt about being the 'not important enough' friend.

Syed stopped calling for a bit. His text messages were not as often as it used to be. Not that I mind. I of all person should understand what life is when one is in love. I am a great lover myself but just a week earlier, Syed called to share his predicaments. He left his girlfriend. I was all ears....

Bunny cried when she called. Her boyfriend wanted a break. I was all ears.... In less than a week, they patched up. I was no more in the picture.

Zam called me once. Siti had made the same phone call. So did Abu, Lat, Leez, George, Rorry, Kelly, Pete and so many others. As usual the pattern was the same. I never hear from them again until their next predicaments.

Last night, I was furious about the whole thing. Being very upset with Docci made me recall all the similiar phone calls I received. But as I was about to sleep, I thought about it again and over again. I woke up with a smile.

Well, at least they know they can count on me. At least they know that I will be there no matter what. They know that I am indeed a friend in need.

So people, Sunshine or rain, I'll be there....
and that's a DEFINITE.

she will always be my favourite

Mother said she has a 50/50 chance of surviving. My sister said her daughter is only waiting for her time. I was crushed.

Shima, my niece is a smart person. She strives hard in everything that she does and even now, my sister said she is still holding on. Shima wanted to be successful in her life. Poverty often delay her plans but somehow she managed to find a way. At 17 she enrolled herself in lower 6. She took a bus in a heavy rain to the education office and begged to be accepted as all the lower 6 students have started class 2 months earlier. Based on her excellent results the previous year she was accepted but in to a school that was far away from home. She refused to leave the office until the person in charge gave up and finally entertained her request. Her school is now closer to home.

In school, she was misjudged by a ridiculous gossip which ended her having no friends. Not long, those who were deceived by the gossip realised that she wasn't the person they were told her to be. Not only was she smart but she was also friendly and extremely helpful.

When she was younger, she used to visit me often. As she grew older, part time odd jobs refrained her from coming during the school holidays. Somehow, things were different last year. She called asking me to take her to my place. I was busy and told her that she might have to put off her plans. Being a persistant person, she begged me and told me to take her home with me even if it's for a while. She needed a break. As if GOD had made the most perfect plan for both of us, with ease she was in my place 2 days later.

Her 7 days visit left an impact in my life. She revealed everything about her life to me. Things that I never knew. Things that I was oblivious to. When I left her at the bus station, I was already missing her and started to make plans for her next visit. I was very excited and can't wait for February to come as that will be the month she's gonna visit me during the weekends.
Text messages and phone calls were often exchanged. I will make a point to call her immediately should I see signs of distress. Even if I am not in town.

Just as I arrived Narita, her text came in. She's in the hospital, she said. Frustrated with the network service, I decided to call her when I got home. She was crying when I finally got the chance to speak to her. She asked me to visit her as soon as I can. I obliged.

She was in a very poor condition. To have a conversation with her was impossible. Finally, just before I left we had a brief conversation. She told me about the doctor whose name is the same as a friend of mine that she is fond of......... Dr. Komar. We laughed a little and then I had to go home.

Yesterday, they moved her to the ICU. Today I received the sad news. I wanted so much to be by her side as soon as I can but situation wouldn't allow that and I have to wait till Din gets home tonight. As I sat waiting, I cried my heart out. It had been almost 17 years since my dad passed away and the thought of losing my favourite niece is so unbearable. She has a bright future ahead of her and I had plans for her. Y'know I never told her that I love her.

I have to go see her, I know I have to. She was asking for me.
Shima, tunggu Ommy sekejap.... Ommy sayang Shima...

"I couldn't be better"

All of us react differently when we are heart broken. Most of us cry when we pour out our feelings to certain people. It could be a close friend or probably a stranger whom we've just met. Some of us cry ourselves to sleep or when we are alone, put on a brave face when it's time to greet the day. Some of us prefer to bottle up our feelings and pretend that nothing had happen and some idiotic ones would cry, cut/shave their hair, shop like there's no tomorrow, get themselves drunk and dehydrated, and only to find it was all silly just two weeks from the drama day.

Connie, has never been lucky when it comes to love. Just when she thought she had finally found the right one, they had to say goodbye to a relationship that could probably end up like a fairy tale. They met at a difficult circumstances. There was nothing else to do but to accept their fate.
Connie said that if I love her, I shouldn't ask her questions about the fateful relationship. Matters were never discussed since. I guess the reason she jogs at night now is to produce happy endorphins before she goes to sleep. She's also planning for a short holiday to get her mind off the whole thing. I truly cannot imagine what she is going through. One thing for sure, its really awful to be in her shoes. Though all I could hear Connie said last night was "I couldn't be better" repeatedly.

She still has faith and that was really pleasing to know.

Or is it really?

When I was a new staff 9 years ago (yeah rite! make it 9x 2 OK...) I often hear remarks for "savage supervisors" that did not make any sense to me like :

1. tak dapat la tu, malam tadi (s/he didn't get it last night)
****bubble**** " didn't get what???? what was it that s/he didn't get last night that turned her/him into this ferocious homo-sapient??"

2. period kot..... (she's having her menses)
****bubble**** "OK, menses... but why? is it very heavy and she is feeling very uncomfortable? If so why didn't she opt for tampons instead of sanitary pads?"

3. gaduh dengan girl/boyfriend dia (had row with girl/boyfriend)
****bubble**** "hmmmm.... an argument.... right... understood...... but but but why? why must s/he act as if s/he having that row with us???? WHY???????"

Well, what can I say? I just turned 18. Lacked of humans' touch. Lacked of understanding the emotions and feelings of a human. Unfortunately, after learning of 'what they were supposed to get last nite' and the change of emotions during menses and having the human touch, I still bitched with the same remarks...

Well, I was 22... what do you expect?????

And now, I am having a good laugh at myself because I have become the 'she didn't get it last night' plus 'having her menses (though I'm an ardent user of tampons)' plus 'had a row with her boyfriend' person or in short that bitchy supervisor.....(and no, I am not proud of it)

At my age now.... (yes you've guessed it right, it should be 18x2... dang!!!!) nothing is more important than doing a job sincerely and properly. Be honest. Follow the rules. Guide the morons. Work hard. Make-up for a good 45 minutes.. and at the end of the month, when you see your bank statement you'll smile with pleasure. Ahhhhh..... it's all worth it. No lies, abide the rules, educate those ignorant subordinates, I worked my a$$ out, bear the consequences of the birthday cake make-up.
I guess you should know that I get paid extra for doing all these. After all I am a responsible person. How can I break the trust they have given me?

Though.................. I hate to admit that if I do get it last night or if I am not having menses or a row with my boyfriend, the tendency of me being lenient is highly possible. (and to the ignorant ones, I am acting strange)

Emmmmm.... what else can I say??? the nasty remarks can be true sometimes....


" now tell me. which part of 'follow the procedures' don't you understand?"

boleh pakai ke?

Dear Jazzmatazz,*

How to know if the person likes you question left me awake the whole night thru ..emmm… mostly perplexed. Just when I thought that the years of experiences had made me a smarter person, I was hurt many times. Out of the many men I have dated there were only one who was honest with me. The rest left without saying goodbye without any apparent reasons. However so have I. (guilty)
I thought that they have such vile nature and again so have I…. (erkkkkk).

Nevertheless a crucial observation is utterly essential. Scrutinize them without them realizing. Explore casually. Show interest. **Find out if he likes you but that my dear takes a lot of courage. You have to be brave for the answer might be the one not to your liking or otherwise. (wink!)
I would not waste anymore time. Its quite tiring y’know to play the “do you like me, do you like me not” game.

Getting straight to the point can save you from the feeling of not knowing,
which can seriously lead you to

heart beating
like a drum
mild palpitations
uneasy nights
dreaming
sweet dreams
only to wake up
to the reality
unnecessary stress
fatuous tears
bad mood
the 24/7 frown
till your forehead
dented
the lighted fags
till you burn
your chest grueling hangover
chill eerie
feeling
the long bath
the sweaty palms
cold walks at nite
the loneliness


yours sincerely,
me

*a long lost aquaintance
http://jazzmatazzed.blogspot.com

**there’s art to it. It’s not free…

feel it?

feel this?

ahhhhhhhhhhhh... feeeeeeeellllllllllllll this.........

important!!!!

Being the team leader for my group, I was the first to introduce myself during the project work. Besides telling them about my unimportant personal details, I also told them that I am STILL driving a Wira, a dented Wira.

The common status symbol is truly not important to me. Truthfully, if I can afford I would have gotten a better car. Instead whatever extra cash received every end of the month is spent on the house... The link house I share with my 7 cats and a husband. You see, the house is a dream come true. Hence, it is important.

During the two days of the class, I received compliments on the attires I had worn. The two kurtas that had not gone to the laundry basket after Faiz's "Indian Dinner", the two sarongs worn to match the kurtas, the jeans worn for the aggressive exercise and a few costume jewelleries to match. Questions like where did you get this and how much did it cost were common. Upon hearing my answers, they would normally take another quick glance at me for approval. The brands really do not matter to me, what matters is if I can look good wearing them.

Anyhow, whatever it is, the moral of the story is " grass is greener on the other side but hey.... they planted grass?? We planted Indian pennywort (pegaga).... cheaper but aesthetic value is high " (wink!)

and by the way,

Kurtas RM 10 each, by the dusty roadside.
Sarongs RM 25 & RM 12 respectively.
Earrings 3 for RM 10
Jeans RM 98 by Giordano
with an IRON -ON motif RM 4....

So, save your money people..... buy cheap clothing, they quickly run out of fashion anyway!
Buy what is important to you and you only....

chand,chand,chand....

HAPPY!!!!!!!! (with Thebo)

the sound of the phone ringing interupted my deep sleep. tried hard to ignore but i picked it up anyway. it was her. sorry for disturbing your sleep she said and started telling me that she is sending my khutu money tomorrow. yahoo.... i bubbled. then she requested for a good lighting in her room. i have been putting off the plan of getting the perfect lighting for the room downstairs. the room she uses every time she is here. then i told her about the lighting i wanted for my kitchen. she was shock but the next minute she said, ok. ok? OK... she is sending me the money tomorrow.... whaddya know.....

to be cont......